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Kerry Rawlinson
the girl who swallowed a bird
she can’t speak. she can’t break
break break constricting shells &
escape. desperation is raven wings
buffeting is pinions detaching;
is acid-panic; is beaks & septic claws
raking her gullet—but deliverance
won’t hatch. time bends,
stretching backwards like neck
tendons dragged by anvil wings.
the bird flew into her throat
from marsh grass when birdshot
sprayed, when glaciers melted
into fingerling streams, when
a firming lad climbing flame trees
& acacias, laughing & tanned, racing
towards limbs of manhood
was hers. but no longer. no leaves
of laughter unfurl for cover. no
together place to land. now
the banks of the river widen, expanding
the gaps of comprehension, rocky
& mute. she can’t explain. now
she swallows birdscreams & pinches
her arms blue begging black reality
to loosen its talons, to stop
pecking his red initial S into her wrist.
people’s platitudes eat their way
into her bones, boring them
into hollow tubes; into passages &
phrases she can’t translate. we all live
unhinged, bellies filled with
worms. no squirming boy-baited trap
exists that’s able to coax her from
her jungle of thorns & razorgrass
& brambles. no cans of illicit lager no
back seats of parents’ Pintos no dark
movie theatre gropes no trembling
teenage kiss can free the swallowed
bird. it nestles in the gristle of her throat
& builds its prison. it lays its egg
of ice & stalactites in her chest,
its chicks of spikes, it’s numb stone.
the boy who loved her is dead.
denied the rituals of ripening, she spits
feathers of futility from her tongue.
watch her: she’ll never grow up
or fly. she’ll always be stifling screams,
believing there’s nothing too big
she can’t hide from— no nest
or thunder. and if it comes too close,
no comfort that can’t be outrun.
About the writer:
Kerry Rawlinson left Zambia decades ago, exploring, landing in Canada. Fast forward: she’s barefoot again, creating stuff. Awards: GlitteryLiterary Flash April 2021; Edinburgh International Flash 2020. Recent: EpochPress; Event; Prairie Fire; Sarasvati; UnlostJournal; Cagibi; Carousel; amongst others. When not challenging concepts/formats, she drinks too much (tea).
Image: An Allegory of Domestic Disputes by The Master of the Fertility of the Egg (1650?-1725?). Oil on canvas. 94.5 x 145 cm. 17th century. Public domain.
OJAL Art Incorporated, publishing since 2017 as OPEN: Journal of Arts & Letters (O:JA&L) and its imprint Buttonhook Press, is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation supporting writers and artists worldwide.
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