W<J>P Newnham


Metal Breakfast by Rebecca Oet

We met at Benny-B’s where he had been hiding-out; pausing briefly, then back to mine to libate and medicate the afternoon into night as me and T: and Benny-B. kick the fucking gong around and get on the piss. Benny-B. brings a recently ‘acquired’ boom-box: Niggaz-With-Attitude pumped at volume;

Fuck the Po-leece!

Benny-B. on the farm.

‘……….it’s all good, work and shit…

you’re outside, ya got shit to do;

big killer is boredom.

Nothing but time and ya’ cock in hand in the hole.’


‘That’s what you get for runnin’ ‘round town with a Gat!’

‘Fuckin’ two and all….but shit

Time off for good behaviour

I made the farm inside a’ three. I get on good

With the screws there and there’s no silly cunts up

On the farm.’


‘Is “Old-Face” still up in there?’

‘Fucking old cunt…yeah.

must be 70 and still walkin’

The line ev’ry day swinging his stick………..still telling cunts’

What to do and when and how.’


‘He was Boss when I went in the ‘Brook’’

‘You’d reckon he’d be sick of it by now.’


‘Forty Years in the County Jail!’




‘They let me out and I began to wail!’

Benny B.

Sum fool tried to hold me down!

Benny B. & Me.

‘So I Got Drunk And I Fucked Up The Town!’


‘Bad Singers More Like It’

Night falls.

Benny-B. on Kangaroo>

‘So I comes up from the sheds

heading to the pod for count

The fucking farm got Roos like rats

up in the paddock near the pods……

Old Man Western Reds with

battle scars from

Running the mob:

These Roos aren’t one bit shy.


‘Red on the head like the dick on a dog>’

‘I’m running late for count and

I got two milk bottles fulla’ water and I’m floggin’ em




‘HaH!. Roo Slapping?’


Slappin’ the fuckin’ fur offa them.

Old Face is watching me from the pod

As I comes up he says

“Benny B. Don’t. Fucken’. Do. It!.”

But I’ve already swung and the Roo

cops the Old-One-Two.

I hear Old Face shoutin’ ‘FUCCCCK!’ and

I sees’ him running but the Roos hooked its hoofs

On my shoulder and…….’

‘And Its fucken’ lookin’ at me

I’m fucked and far from\

Old Face is Running down the hill;

Waving a “Wembley” like John-Fucking-Wayne and

I start Laughing and Old Face is shouting

“Shut-The-Fuck-Up-Cunt!” And

“Fucking Drop. Now. Drop. Cunt!”

But I can’t stop laughing

‘Old Face got his Gat at this roos’ head and it’s still just lookin’

At me and him and I’m screamin’;

Shoot The Cunt For Fuck Sake Boss Shoot The Fuckin’ Cunt!

Old face says: “Benny B.You Stupid Cunt!

I told you not to fuck around with the Roos.

Sometimes you cunts have to…..”


“…………learn things the hard way?”

‘Fucken’ you know it Cuz!’


‘Cunt said same to me in the ‘Brook’.

‘ Fucken’ Roo gets this mean look in his eyes

I know Old Face seen it I swear to God that cunt

knew what was coming and he waited for it and

Old Face got his Gat at this Roos’ head and I’m screamin’;

Shoot The Cunt For Fuck Sake Boss Shoot The Fuckin’ Cunt!

The roo leans back on his tail and as Old Face finally shoots him in the head

As the Roo kicks and opens me up like a gutted fish.’


‘Goin’ down the Hard-Road!’


“Shit Luck and Hard-Fucken’-Times.’

Later still.

T: on the ‘Brook’.

I got sent up in that there fucken’ hole at fifteen,

locked up with cunts and

Awaiting governors pleasure ain’t no

Fucking pleasure at all.


‘This Ain`T No Party, This Ain`T No Disco,

Benny B.

‘I I I I, Who Took the Money,

Who Took The Money Away?



‘This Ain`T No Party,’

Benny B.

Who Took the Money….

‘It’s not even the same fucking song!



When I got there I just thought fuck it and walked with

My fuckin’ head up and minded my own…’


‘Held your mud.’

Top-O-Tha’-Yards was ‘Spinner’,

seventeen 6 foot 2, 23 stone

He ran the joint and ev’ry morning

he’d tell me “Orright you gotta’ bash this cunt”

and I’m saying to him;

Mate they done nothing to me and

He pulls tops saying

“It’s nothing personal you know

I see how you hold yourself

a Man: A True Con.

But it’s book-keeping:

I gotta’ know what page you’re on and respect comes natural with that!”

That Fuckin’ Spinner

Fuckin’ Top Con?;

He goes to Old Face talking, And next:

Old Face drops the classic line-

“You Cunts Just Gotta’ Learn Things The Hard Way Don’t You?”’

Im thinkin’ Fuuuuuuuck! Here It Comes! but

Nothin’ for days and finally I draw galley with Gecko and

We’re just doin’ dishes;

Old Face calls me over and says;

“I see how you hold yourself

a Man: A True Con.

But it’s book-keeping:

I gotta’ know what page you’re on and respect comes natural with that!”

he pulls my coat on Gecko

How at thirteen he raped his

6-year-neice to the emergency ward. ‘

Benny B.

‘That’s it:

He should be Fuckin’ Dead!

Him and That Fuckin’ Spinner both:

Deader Than Fuckin’ Maggots!’

I went back to wiping and Gecko hands me plates and

I wipe them and………’


And you choose?’

….I wraps the rag ‘round his head and put

His head into the sink,

Swinging him into the steel Teeth are flying

blood is squirting Old Face is Calling It in on the Com

And that Fuckin’ Spinner is goin’






Fuckin’ Stop!”

I Pull-Up and


“You Cunts Just Gotta’ Learn Things The Hard Way Don’t You?”’

Benny B.



“I see how you hold yourself:

a Man. A True Con! “


About the writer:
WP Newnham hitchhiked around Australia working as barman, bum and waiter, slaughter hand, deckhand and master, spending 25 years working in the Northern Prawn Fishery. He has travelled extensively in Southeast Asia, the Americas, and Japan and speaks marketplace Indonesian with some fluency. He is the winner of the 2016 The Lifted Brow’s Experimental Non-fiction Prize. His numerous short stories have been published in Nocturnal Submissions, Overland, The Lifted Brow, Meanjin, Westerly, and Horror Sleaze Trash [to name but a few].

Image: Metal Breakfast by Rebecca Oet. Fine art photograph. No technical information specified. By permission. Rebecca Oet is a high school student from Solon, Ohio, USA. She enjoys photography, reading fiction and comic books, writing short stories and poetry, and watching anime. Rebecca is a national silver medalist in the 2015 Scholastic Art & Writing Awards and has won multiple gold and silver keys for her photography in the Regional Scholastic Writing Competition & Exhibition. She has published her photography in numerous magazines, including Ranger Rick, Teen Ink, Stone Canoe, Silk Road, on the covers of Glass Mountain, Qwerty Magazine, Healing Muse, The McNeese Review, Noctua Review, JAAM, Forge, Sandy River Review, Whirlwind, Blacktop Passages, Riding Light, Constellations, Off the Coast, Bitterzoet and others.